


I Will Remind You

by matistama



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: AU Described as Everything's the Same Except Eesti, But imagine the genders of others as you wish, Hurt/Comfort, Nyotalia, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 03:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10779009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matistama/pseuds/matistama
Summary: When it came down to it, he was aggressive towards most men. When saw one, it was easy to let his anger and frustrations out. When he saw a lady, he wanted to be kind and charming.When he got to know Evelin though… he didn’t know what to do.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this over the course of a day. And then didn't have by Beta Reader edit it but instead reread it multiple times. I'm so happy to write this out, and I'm actually happy with how this came out. So enjoy!
> 
> Best Song to Listen to While Reading: Remind You by Andy Grammer

Lovino never thought he would end up falling for someone that he sometimes found so insufferable. Then again he didn’t think he would fall for a Northern nation who made him confused on how to treat them. When it came down to it, he was aggressive towards most men. When saw one, it was easy to let his anger and frustrations out. When he saw a lady, he wanted to be kind and charming. No matter the age, he wanted them to know they were beautiful in their own way.

When he got to know Evelin though… he didn’t know what to do.

It would have been easy if they went only a few decades back in time. He would treat her just like any lady he met. If it was then, it would have been a bit easier. But she had to go and not fit easily into a box anymore.

Well according to her, she never fit so easily in those male or female boxes, but she was never sure how to be in both or none. It was easier to stay in one box. In fact, it has been hard for her to finally step outside of the box, and it took a radical change to make her get out. The first time she met with other nations after that change, most mistook her as a new, young, male nation. It wasn’t until you talked to her or listened to her fellow Baltics refer to her that you realized. Or maybe if those didn’t clue you in, the most telling was how her best friend just _knew_ who she was without seeing her for years and ran up to hug her. Evelin had changed looks, but she was still Evelin.

She stopped fitting in boxes after that. And while it was fine to him for her to be whoever she wants, he didn’t know how to treat her. He could go with what he remembered in the past and treat her like a lady, but then he would be ignoring the fact of who she was in the present. He could treat her like a man, but it was a similar issue.

For a while he took the only other option he could think of, he decided to not talk to her at all. However, he listened to her speak. She always spoke a lot at every meeting because while she was relatively new at being a nation she had good ideas and a good manner to get those ideas across. She got others to listen to her not by yelling -unlike _some_ people- but by enthusiasm and carefully placed words, almost beats. The more Romano listened the more she sounded to be a cross between a confident sales person and a tune of a song that he would think about fondly but could never remember more than the chorus. But he couldn’t even ask a question to her about an important governmental topic and instead passed notes to his brother to say who would always say it wrong somehow. Why did Feli even need to start off with “Lovino says?” Was he trying to make him look bad? Evelin always answered the questions as best as she could while looking at him.

As much as he listened to her, she was insufferable to him at times. A cheery person who was too optimistic for him and too by the book. A cross between two people he hated -or at least said to hate. But she was charming and smiled a smile that lit up a room, and he wanted to tell her she should always smile like that since it was beautiful… handsome? It was... perfect.

After a few meetings, Lovino stopped wanting to take the third option and instead met her privately.

“This probably is going to sound ridiculous, but ever since you’ve been… like this, I can’t figure out how to talk to you! You looked like a lady at one point, but hell… I’m then being rude treating you that way which I _can’t_ do to a lady. I can’t go the other way either! I’m just not gonna ignore who you are, but you need to tell me before I go out of mind. How do you want to be treated?”

A wide-eyed look turned into a smile with the bottom lip being bitten, and then she laughed. He was about to just stand up and walk out with a huff until she calmed and looked at him again. Her eyes were soft, and she had a smile on that eased him. “Thank you for asking! That’s so kind of you, but I don’t really have an answer for you. Do whatever you think is right. If you don’t know yet, it’s fine. We’ve got years to figure it out, and you really aren’t the only one! I’m still figuring out what it means to be ‘like this.’ By the way, the term you can use is ‘genderqueer.’ Apparently, that’s what people call it right now.”

“If you think it is kind, then why did you laugh at me?”

“Oh, sorry... You are just the second person to ever ask me how I want to be treated. However, the difference between you two to come to the same answer is amusing. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Who was the first person?”

“The first person was one of my own people. Only a couple years ago. It really made me think, and now I look like this. I wished people asked me that more often, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome…. I guess.”

She smiled brilliantly again, and he wanted to keep asking her questions if only for that smile.

* * *

 

Lovino ended up talking to her after that to try to find whatever worked for her in his eyes. It became an odd mix of how he treated men and women. A curse or two in a compliment. A jab that was met to make her feel better. A compliment that turned into a jab at her character in the end. What others found odd and rude at times, she found extremely sweet.  She kept on giving those same, brilliant smiles, so he felt that he must be doing something right.

When he realized that he fell for her smile and more so her as a person after couple years, he was caught off guard, but he knew he shouldn’t be surprised looking back. What was surprising was that she had fallen for him as well. What did a well-adjusted, preppy person ever see in someone as fouled-mouth as him? Or in a person who was always the second fiddle who had a grumpy attitude and rather pessimistic views?

He didn’t quite understand why him. No matter how many ladies he charmed, typically they had or found someone else. He understood that. He was a temporary, a secondary person, to others. He was that way as a kid and that way now. Except to Evelin who went out of her way to spend time with him. If he happened to be busy when she wanted to see him, she would just sit down and work on something until he was done. If she was busy when he wanted to see her, she would drop what she was doing to be with him if possible. She obviously wanted to be with him, but he couldn’t understand why.

He certainly didn’t think he deserved her. She put up with his rudeness like many other nations, but she learned to turn it around easily with a smile. If he may have been too rude with someone, she could smooth out a situation with a few words. If he was rude to her, she asked what was wrong, and it was enough for him to say what was bothering him and calm down.

He had happened to overhear her talking about him in a professional setting and called him “South Italy.” It made him stop what he was doing for a moment, and he had to force himself not to do much more than pause and move onto the task he was supposed to do. Rarely did he hear someone call him that, and he never mentioned it -never to her at least- that he would rather people say that then “Romano” especially when they called his brother “Italy” instead of “Veneciano.” Even if he held himself back then, he did make it more apparent that he appreciated it later on, giving her enough kisses in private to make her giggle and look a bit dazed. When she asked what was the occasion, he said he didn’t need a damn reason on to kiss his enbyfriend. The wide-eyed stare seemed to be all he needed for a response before he kissed her again. She held him in place when he moved away for a moment.

“How do you know that word?”

“I’m sure you know something called the internet. You can use it to search up things. You should try it some time.” He kissed her temple again. “And what I found on that internet is that If I’m your boyfriend, then you’re my enbyfriend.”

She gave him that same soft smile she did when he first asked her how to treat her. She brushed his bangs back tangling her fingers in his hair. “What in the world did I do to be able to be with someone as wonderful as you?” She kissed him this time. He believed that she deserves so much better.

* * *

 

During their time together and hopefully just the beginning of their time together, there were still things he didn’t understand about her. Her odd habit of eating bread instead of a meal. How she could not drink a drop of alcohol for months at a time and the first thing she goes for when she does is down a spirit with a high enough alcohol to burn his nose hair by sniffing it. Her music collection spanning over the past several centuries, containing genres he was sure were made up, and always on shuffle. But what he felt may be the strangest was that they never stayed overnight in the same place. He wondered if it was just a personal space thing, but he found out stories from some chatty friends and knew that Evelin shouldn’t mind. In fact, being in each other’s personal space tended not to be an issue with them. He had been to her home and vice versa many, many times but never overnight for some reason. There was always an excuse. Until one night when they were just having some dinner alone after a day of EU meetings, a storm came knocking out the power and causing hazardous conditions for travel.

She advised him to stay with her at the house. She offered him to use her cell phone to call up his brother to tell him where he was. She looked a bit nervous though, and it was not about the storm. She even watched a bit of the storm as it passed through, and she was so calm, almost relaxed, even though it was dangerous. Even if she was nervous about him staying the night, she could have offered him a place to sleep that was closer to her. In the back of his mind, he wished to sleep in the same bed as her but wasn’t going to bring it up at the moment. Instead, she and Romano slept as far apart in the house as possible. He wasn’t sure what kind of signals that he should get from that. They went their separate ways for the night, and he just decided to shrug it off for now and sleep.

He woke up with a jolt as he heard screaming. It was still dark — pitch black, and he quickly patted around the table next to him to find the flashlight he was given. He ended up hitting the battery powered alarm clock and saw that it was just after 3 a.m. However, he ignored it for the most part as he finally grabs the flashlight. He clicked it on and sprinted to Evelin’s room. The screams were obviously from her the more he heard it, and it made him speed up. While there was not much other he could hear but the screams, it sounded if she was being attacked, and each step was made quicker than the last. There was no time to grab much else. He ended up barging in her room ready to attack with his hands and the small flashlight.

However, there was no one else there besides them.

In fact, he was the only one awake.

Evelin was screaming though, absolutely terrified with tears running down the sides of her face onto her pillow. She tossed and turned as she did so as if the blanket was forcing her down. But otherwise, she was asleep. Sometimes she said words: some of them in her language, some in English, and others in a mix of languages, German, Russian… He half-wished he knew every word she spoke. When he could understand her, he could hear a mix of comments about historical events that didn’t end well — for her at least.

Lovino was frozen listening for a moment before he became filled with panic again that he wasn't doing anything to help, and he rushed to her side to wake her up. He shouted back at her hoping she can hear him. Moments later, she woke up with a shutter and tears still running but the screaming stopped. She was not looking at him but the ceiling though he was not even sure how well she could see him without her glasses in the middle of the night.

Without another thought, he pulled her into his arms trying to comfort her. He could feel her body tremble. He felt tears land on his shoulder. His hand slid up her back to the nape of her neck and then into short locks. His thumb made slow circles on the back of her head trying to calm her.

“It’s okay…. It’s over, okay? I’m here, Evie.”

He repeated the words over and over to her. In his mind, he was wondering what to even do next. Evelin was supposedly calm. Evelin was supposedly well-adjusted. Evelin was supposedly so cheery. And now, here she was: shaking, terrified, crying.

All because of a dream.

This wasn’t the person he felt he knew, and he didn’t know how to deal with it more than repeat words and hold her.

It took a few minutes of staying like that for Evelin to calm down. He felt her take some deep breaths. Then he felt the shaking subside. Then the fall of tears slowed and stopped. Her body was rigid. She said nothing and just became still.

He let her out of his hold slowly placing his arms on her shoulders to look at her. The light of the flashlight distorted her face, but he could see she was looking down at her blanket. Her cheeks had paths of tears, which he started to wipe away.

“Evelin…” Lovino paused not sure what to say but disliking the silence. He thought of what she would say. “What’s wrong?”

There was silence for a few moments. Even as she spoke, she didn’t look up. “Nothing really. Just a dream.”

“Nothing?! If that is nothing, then I don’t want to ever see what something may be.” His voice became stern. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s a nightmare. People get them. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine! You were terrified! If it was fine, I wouldn’t be here now!” She doesn’t speak. “Goddammit, Evie! Just talk to me about it! I already think I may know some bits, but history always comes to bite us when we don’t want it! It’s nothing to be ashamed of!” She doesn’t react. It only scared him more. “Evelin! …Evelin, is this why you never let me stay over?”

She nodded slowly.

“So let me get this straight. You, the prep, the straight A, straight-laced, optimistic, smiling-all-the-goddamn-time, nothing-bothers-you Evelin. You have frequent, horrible nightmares that cause you to cry, scream, and turn in your sleep because you are thinking some serious messed up shit that happened to you that you don’t want anyone to know gets to you now. That way you can keep up this… happy face all the damn time and people don’t see you as weak. Yeah?”

She flinched at the words, which made him wish he didn’t put it so bluntly. “Not exa…” She trailed off her hands tightly into fists. She paused glancing at him for a moment and shook her head. “Ye-yes.”

He lifted her chin up, so she finally looked at him. She looked so vulnerable, and he hated her looking like this. The anger in him boiled over. “Well then look at me and listen up good! Nobody -and I mean nobody especially people like us- should bottle up years worth of bullshit inside you without some sort of release! And not in the form of nightmares that scare you when you aren’t awake! Sleep is for resting not playing out all your fears at fuckin’ once! I know… that I’m not the best of saying things I mean, but I do let something out! Maybe I shouldn’t curse so much… hell if I know, but it helps! You don’t have to curse if you don’t want to or be verbally angry. Like punch something? Do you punch things? Maybe do a sport? An aggressive one. Just get it out that way.

“Or just let the emotions come naturally from you. Be angry or sad or whatever if you feel like it. It doesn’t have to be all the time. Just when you can. Hell, if you want if you are around me… you know... you can just not worry about keeping those things in check. Complain or yell or be sad. I don’t mind. You can keep the emotions you want bottled up the rest of the time, but… It’s alright to not need to do that around me.”

“... But... But what if you or anyone doesn’t like me if I don’t… bottle it up?”

“You are still being you. So if anyone doesn’t like you for being you, then they don’t matter!”

“What about you? What if you don’t like me then?”

“Then I’m a fucking hypo… hypo… ugh a fucking moron, and that’s my problem. But I don’t think… no. I know I’ll like you no matter how you are cause I love you, Evelin. The other sides of you are still you. Does that make sense?”

Her hand found his and held the hand on her shoulder. “Yes… yes, it does. I feel the same… about loving all sides of a person part.”

“Thank god. I thought I might be saying non-sense at some point. So,” He said letting go of her chin. “Do you want me to leave you alone for now? Obviously you wanted some space in sleeping arrangements.”

Her grip on his hand tightened. She looked frighten again.  “No! … Please, please stay. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Good, cause I didn’t want to leave you alone. In fact-” He kissed her. “I’m not leaving you alone until I see you smile again.” He peppered her face with kisses. After the first couple she started to laugh and lean back until he was leaning over her as she laid in bed. “Hmm, I think that’s a smile, but I’m not sure. It’s very dark. I don’t think I can leave just yet.”

“I love you so much, Lovi. How did I manage to deserve someone like you?”

“By being you. We deserved each other.” He kissed her once more before turning off the flashlight and lying beside her. It was hard to see her in the dark, but he was able to push away some of the currently messy hair back from her face and kiss her forehead.  “I love you, my enby. Now get some sleep, and this time I hope you have a good dream."


	2. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually wanting to write more for this right after I posted the supposed one shot. I'll probably be posting to the now collection of one shots of these two when I feel like it.

She wasn't sure when she felt it, but she could recall the first time she knew the feeling.  
  
Things were otherwise normal at the time. Another meeting with bickering and interesting topics and presentations. She presented a little - she loved to do so, and she placed in input as needed.  
  
Lovino had asked her questions during her own presentation, not going thru his brother anymore to do so. Then he would ask her more between things. It used to be odd - he could ask anyone. However, she had become accustomed to his presence suddenly near her at meetings. It was near disappointing when he didn't talk to her during a meeting. He tended to ask things that had her think about an answer or possible answers. She enjoyed it.  
  
At the particular meeting, she really couldn't remember his question afterwards. She remembered though scanning pages in front of her to give just the information he needed. He had leaned over, one hand on the table and the other on her shoulder.  
  
All she could hear for a moment was her heart racing as she felt his hand warm against her shoulder.  
  
She was far from used to physical touch. Tino would surprise her in bear hugs even if he gave them more often than not when they met. Denmark's assuring pats on the back made her jump even if she was expecting them and even though she had received plenty of them - sometimes daily - for centuries. However those things didn't make her heart race against her ears.

She should have thought nothing of it. Lovino was more physical by nature. It was something well within his normal, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. It came up during the night as she spaced out around friends though she made it look like she was focusing on the next day's meeting. She thought about it as she scrolled through her phone. She thought about it as she heard her heart again later that afternoon as he greeted her quickly and asked her questions later. She couldn't even focus on an answer and had to give the excuse that she had gotten a headache. He didn't press and wished her well.  
  
While she was never good at romance, she knew the feelings of a crush. It had happened to her a couple times, and it came with nervousness. Crushes never worked out - for her at least. Typically one-sided. Sometimes laced with bad memories even though much of it was due to external forces. Now she was crushing on someone she didn't feel she even knew well. What good could come out of that?  
  
So she pushed the feelings away. Tried to. When she thought she did, she found herself thinking about warm hands. It expanded into other things - flustered face, blunt yet kind words, expressive hand gestures. It was when she started thinking of the smell of oven roasted tomatoes and salt water breezes that she turned more attention on his expressions.  
  
Where Evelin could easily hide away her feelings, Lovino was more expressive. Just a glance could tell Evelin everything she needed to know. When she decided to take more than just a glance, she had caught him staring at her for a moment when there was no reason. She noticed the way he was with others compared to her and noticed he kept contact just a little longer. However, she didn't know if she may have just been counting the seconds just a little shorter when together, so she tested waters.  
  
She asked him questions about a meeting - lying that she had missed something that just happened to be on some papers that everyone had. He pointed out the information, and she leaned over one hand on his shoulder. His breath hitched as she did so, and she did her best to make it look like she wasn't looking at him to be able to catch him biting his lip, face redden. She made it obvious as he glanced at her, and he turned away from her eyes, cheeks even more red.  
  
Her heart speed up again.  
  
It took her time to be more daring. A few more moments just touching for seemingly innocent reasons with his breath hitching and bright red cheeks. Then she managed to gain the opportunity to sit across from him during a break. She worked on her computer as he focused on a newspaper. Or they were trying. Evelin was more trying to read him. He stayed on the same page of the newspaper. When she caught him looking over one too many times, she tried to sound as calm as possible.  
  
"Hey, Lovino?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"If you are going to keep staring at me like that, you might as well offer dinner."  
  
He sputtered for a moment. "I… um… Is that a serious offer?"  
  
"Of course. You have to offer though."  
  
"Alright…. Do you want to go to dinner with me tonight?"  
  
"I would love to."

* * *

Lovino was nervous. It was obvious the way he wasn't sure if he should hold the door or if that was off. It applied to everything. She found it endearing, but she wanted to tell him it was alright. She did tell him it was alright not to know. However, he wanted to be careful. She decided to just enjoy it and grinned when she held the door open for him.  
  
Maybe she could have worn something less masculine just to help, but she wasn't planning to get courage to get him to ask her out. The entire moment felt like it was more dream than real. She would have to remember to pack a dress next meeting.  
  
She ended his tenseness and her own as they sat down at a nice, hole-in-the-wall place.  
  
"Italian food? A little too predictable, don't you think?"  
  
"Well then you pick next time. Didn't give me much notice anyways. If you asked last meeting, I could have planned better."  
  
"You would have went along with this two months ago? Should have asked sooner." He was flustered again, but she felt just the same. The fact that she could have asked sooner was a made her heart skip a beat.  
  
She decided to free them both and go over the menu asking him his opinion on them all. He was an Italy after all. Not that she cared what to eat, never have being picky on more than what bread was the best. As she listed things off the menu, he snorted.  
  
"Hey! I thought I did well! Gah-no-chi! That's what it looks like!"  
  
He stifles another laugh. "It's like no-key. The g's silent, and c-h-i sounds like "key" in Italian."  
  
"Gnocchi?"  
  
"Better. Not there yet."  
  
"It's not my fault it has too many letters!"  
  
"Wait until I find one of your words then! I'll remember this next time! Also don't get it. It has potatoes."  
  
"Well then I have to order it then."  
  
"Fine. Then I get to pick your dessert."  
  
"Deal. So there is going to be a next time?"  
  
She loved how easily he could get flustered as he stumbled over a maybe that sounded more like a yes.

* * *

They spent awhile in the restaurant, split the check, and walked back together enjoying the cool night.  
  
There wasn't any thought of how little they may know each other. In fact, it felt like they had known each other for years as he laughed at a silly techie joke of hers and he talked about one thing or another about his family. To let the conversation continue, they ended up taking a longer way back which just got even longer as they took side streets and scenic routes. Somewhere along the line, they had held hands when a scenic route had ended up on an unfinished sidewalk and had one leading the other on a narrow path. The hands didn't unlink afterwards.  
  
When they finally got back to the hotel, Evelin wished they never got there. It would have been easy enough to go do anything else but go back in the hotel to sleep. However, professional life took over personal, and they had to say goodnight.  
  
He walked her to her room though.  
  
"Thank you for the wonderful night, Lovino. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, tomorrow… One last thing though."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
He checked his surroundings and leaned up just to meet her lips briefly. She could have sworn that he had stolen her breath.  
  
"Night."  
  
She barely had a chance to wish him a goodnight as well as he hurried off to his own hotel room. She didn't bother to question it as she went into her room and had the widest smile for the rest of the night.


End file.
